What Happens When You Stop Abandoning Yourself
Do you keep every promise to others, but quietly break the ones you make to yourself? That’s not discipline or sacrifice. That’s self-abandonment. And here’s the truth: it chips away at your clarity, your trust, and your becoming.
The truth? Self-abandonment isn’t selflessness, it’s self-erasure.
How I Used to Disappear on Myself
I showed up for work, for friends, for every expectation. But when I made a commitment to myself....to rest, to create, to tend my soul....I broke it. Quietly. Repeatedly.
I didn’t mean to abandon myself. I thought I was being responsible, loving, ambitious. But each time I overrode my own truth, I chipped away at my self-trust.
The Turning Point
One day I realized: if I want others to trust me, I have to be trustworthy with myself first. Rebuilding that trust began with one small, radical act: keeping my word to myself, even when no one else was watching.
It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being in relationship...with your own needs, your own boundaries, your own becoming.
Try This
Choose one thing this week you want or need for yourself. Something just for you. Name it. Write it down. Then keep your word to yourself, not because you “should,” but because you matter.
Soulful Reflection
Ask yourself: “What belief tells me other people’s needs matter more than mine?” Sit with it. Breathe into it. This is where reclamation begins.
The Path Forward
If this landed for you, know this: you don’t have to figure it all out alone. That’s where my work comes in.
✨ The Soul Reset – build rhythms of self-trust and gentleness.
✨ Clarity Within – deeper support in community.
✨ 1:1 Coaching – personal guidance to stop abandoning yourself for good.
Frequently Asked Questions About Honoring Your Own Needs
How can I start honoring my own needs without guilt?
Start small. Keep one simple commitment to yourself each day. Notice and name the guilt without letting it run the show. Replace “I should” with “I want or need.”
Isn’t it selfish to put my needs first?
No. Honoring your needs isn’t about ignoring others, it’s about not abandoning yourself. When you lead from wholeness, your care for others becomes healthier and more sustainable.
What if people don’t like the boundaries I set?
Some may resist at first. But boundaries are acts of love, not rejection. They teach others how to be in healthy relationship with you, and they keep you aligned with your truth.
How do I know if I’m abandoning myself?
Notice if you consistently override your own needs, silence your voice, or break promises to yourself. These are signs you’re disappearing on you, and also signals it’s time to return home.