How to Create Space to Hear Yourself Again
Why clarity often begins when you stop filling every open moment
September 2026
September is my New Year.
I've written before about why this time of year feels like a more natural beginning to me than January. August gives me space to look back, gather the proof of what the past year actually held, and decide what I want to carry forward. Then September arrives with that back-to-school rhythm and the sense that a new chapter is ready to begin.
This year, as I thought about what I want that chapter to hold, one word kept coming forward:
Space.
Recently, I had my second facial in two months.
If you know me, you know that isn't normal. I've never been especially comfortable with the idea of being “pampered.” Doing something simply because it feels good, with nothing to accomplish and no one else benefiting from it, still feels a little unfamiliar to me.
The facial was a birthday gift from my husband, and it was wonderful. But before I went, I had also given myself a different kind of space. I meditated shortly after waking up and spent a few quiet minutes thinking about what I was grateful for.
One experience cost money. The other didn't. One was a special gift. The other happened in the quiet of an ordinary morning.
Both gave me something I’m learning to protect more intentionally:
Space to simply be.
For a long time, I thought of space as something I would have when everything else was handled. When the list was finished. When no one needed anything. When I had earned the right to stop doing and responding for a while.
I don't see it that way anymore.
Giving myself space isn't a luxury in my life now. It's becoming non-negotiable, because I've learned how much harder it is to stay connected to myself when every moment is already spoken for.
I also have an audacious intention for the year ahead. It asks me to think bigger about my work, the people I want to reach, and the life I want to create. But before I turn that intention into plans, goals, and Post-it notes, I keep coming back to another question:
Can I create what I want without losing my connection to myself in the process?
Space isn't separate from the vision. It is part of how I want to live while creating it.
Creating space for yourself means intentionally leaving moments free from demands, input, and problem-solving so you can notice what you think, feel, need, and want. It can be as small as five quiet minutes. That pause can support reconnection, self-trust, and more intentional choices.
Space is More Than Free Time
We tend to think creating space means finding an open afternoon, taking a vacation, booking a retreat, or clearing a weekend on the calendar.
Those things can be beautiful. But you can have an empty afternoon and still spend the entire time answering messages, scrolling, listening to other people's ideas, or mentally working through everything you haven't finished.
Your schedule may be open while your mind is still crowded.
The space I'm talking about is the kind where nothing is being asked of you for a few minutes. There is no decision to make, problem to solve, person to take care of, or agenda for what you're supposed to figure out.
It's a quiet drive without turning on a podcast. A walk without using it to plan the rest of your day. A few minutes in the morning before reaching for your phone. A pause before automatically saying yes. A Reiki session where you can rest without needing to lead the experience or arrive with an answer.
Sometimes space looks like doing something special for yourself. Sometimes it looks like leaving five minutes unfilled.
The form matters less than what the space allows: a chance to notice yourself again.
That is what I want more of in my New Year. I don't only want room for the goals, experiences, and work I hope to create. I want to leave room for myself inside all of it.
Why Do We Fill Every Open Moment?
Many of us are very good at being useful.
We've built lives around responding, producing, anticipating, helping, planning, and keeping things moving. We know how to listen outward. We notice what needs attention, what someone else may need from us, and what should happen next.
So when an open moment appears, filling it can feel almost automatic.
An unexpected ten minutes becomes a chance to answer emails. A quiet drive becomes time to learn something. A walk becomes another opportunity to improve ourselves. Even rest can become something we evaluate based on whether we did it correctly.
Sometimes staying busy also keeps us from hearing the questions that have been trying to get our attention.
How am I actually doing?
What do I need?
What do I want?
What have I been brushing aside?
Is there something I already know but haven't wanted to admit yet?
Those questions can feel inconvenient when the life you've built depends on you continuing to function the way you always have.
But they don't necessarily mean you need to make a dramatic change. They may simply be an invitation to listen before deciding what comes next.
You May Not Need Another Answer Yet
In August, I wrote about why not knowing what you want may be more than a clarity problem. When you've spent years moving through roles, expectations, and responsibilities, your own voice can become harder to hear.
That doesn't mean it disappeared.
But when you feel disconnected from yourself, the instinct is often to search harder. You read another book. Listen to another expert. Ask more people what they think. Make another pros-and-cons list. Look for the answer that will finally make you feel certain.
More information can be helpful. It can also add another layer of noise between you and what you already know.
Clarity often follows reconnection.
Before asking yourself to produce the perfect answer, you may need enough space to hear your own voice again.
This is where the Soul Reclamation Framework™ begins. The first stage is RETURN: Create space to hear yourself again.
Returning to yourself doesn't require becoming someone new or blowing up your whole life. It begins by making room for your own experience to matter. It is remembering that your voice has always mattered, even if you've gotten used to placing it beneath everyone else's needs, opinions, or expectations.
What Creating Space Can Look Like in Real Life
Creating space doesn't need to become one more routine you have to perform perfectly. Start with something small enough to live inside the life you already have.
You might:
Sit for five minutes in the morning before checking your phone.
Drive somewhere without adding music, a podcast, or a phone call.
Take a walk with no goal other than noticing how you feel.
Pause before responding to a request and give yourself time to decide what you actually want to say.
Put one small pocket of unscheduled time on your calendar and resist the urge to fill it.
Choose an experience, such as meditation, Reiki, time in nature, or receiving care, where you aren't responsible for directing what happens next.
The point isn't to force a breakthrough.
You may sit quietly and hear nothing profound. You may simply notice that you're tired. You may realize you've been carrying tension in your shoulders. You may become aware of a small desire you've been dismissing or a decision you've been trying to rush.
That noticing matters.
Reconnection doesn't always arrive as one dramatic realization. Often, it begins with small, honest moments when you stop overriding yourself.
Why Receiving Space Can Feel Uncomfortable
I'm noticing this in my own life too.
The facial wasn't difficult because I didn't enjoy it. The unfamiliar part was allowing myself to receive something that didn't need to be useful.
When you're accustomed to taking care of the details, being dependable, or making sure everyone else is okay, receiving can bring up its own discomfort. You may wonder whether you should be doing something more productive. You may feel guilty taking the time. You may tell yourself you'll do it later, after everything else is handled.
But if space only happens after every responsibility is complete, it may never happen.
Giving yourself room to pause doesn't take anything away from the people or work you care about. It lets you stay connected to yourself while you're living the life you've created.
That is a very different relationship with space.
It isn't an escape from your life. It is a way of being present in your own life too.
Reiki is a Supported Space to Pause
This is one of the reasons Reiki has become such an important part of my work.
Reiki doesn't hand you an answer or tell you what decision to make. It creates a supported space where you don't have to solve, produce, explain, or take care of anyone else.
For the length of the session, you get to pause and receive.
Some people are comfortable creating quiet space for themselves at home. Others find it easier when the time has been intentionally set aside and someone else is holding the experience. Neither way is better. Sometimes we need different kinds of support in different seasons.
I've been watching my Reiki calendar fill with women choosing that space for themselves, some in person and some virtually. I love seeing women honor what they need, especially when setting aside time for themselves may be different from what they usually do.
A Reiki session doesn't need to produce a major insight to be worthwhile. The experience of allowing yourself to stop, rest, and reconnect can be meaningful on its own.
And sometimes, when the noise settles, something does become easier to notice.
What Happens When You Begin to Hear Yourself?
Creating space is the beginning. Eventually, the work becomes honoring what you hear.
Maybe you notice that something you've been agreeing to no longer feels right. Maybe you miss a part of yourself that hasn't had much room lately. Maybe you realize you need rest, help, a boundary, a conversation, or a different choice.
Hearing yourself doesn't mean you have to act on everything immediately. It does give you the opportunity to stop pretending you don't know.
Self-trust grows when you take what you notice seriously and respond with one small, intentional choice.
That may mean asking for more time before answering. Putting something on the calendar that matters to you. Saying no without building an elaborate defense. Asking for support. Taking one step toward something you want, even if you can't see the entire path yet.
This is also where coaching can support the process. Reiki creates space to reconnect and hear what has been difficult to hear. Coaching gives us room to explore what is coming forward, rebuild trust in your own voice, and begin making choices from what feels true.
You don't have to rush from awareness into a complete reinvention. You can begin with one honest step.
A Small Practice for Creating Space
Sometime today, choose five minutes and leave them unfilled on purpose.
No podcast. No scrolling. No list of questions you have to answer. No expectation that the time will be productive.
Notice what happens when there is nothing else competing for your attention.
If a thought, feeling, need, or desire keeps coming up, you don't have to solve it. Start by acknowledging it. Then ask yourself whether there is one small way you can honor what you noticed today.
You might write down:
When I gave myself a little space today, I noticed…
And if creating that space was a meaningful choice for you, add it to your Pages of Proof™. It is evidence that you listened to yourself, made room for your own voice, and responded with intention.
Make Room for the Life You Want and for Yourself
Giving yourself space may look like a facial, a morning meditation, a quiet walk, ten minutes alone in the car, a Reiki session, or a pause before your next yes.
It doesn't have to be expensive or elaborate. It does have to belong to you.
The more you practice leaving a little room open, the more opportunity you have to hear what keeps getting buried beneath the noise. And the more often you honor what you hear, the more you rebuild trust in yourself.
As I begin my New Year, I'm still holding an audacious vision for what could be possible. I'm simply no longer willing to measure a meaningful year only by what I build, complete, or achieve.
I want to be present for the life I'm creating.
I want to hear myself inside it.
You may not need to search harder for the answer.
You may need enough space to hear your own, and enough trust to take one honest step from there.
Frequently Asked Questions About Creating Space for Yourself
What does it mean to create space for yourself?
Creating space for yourself means intentionally leaving a little room where nothing is being asked of you. It gives you a chance to step away from other people's needs, opinions, and constant input long enough to notice what you're thinking, feeling, needing, or wanting.
How can I create space when my schedule is already full?
Start smaller than you think you should. Creating space might mean five quiet minutes before checking your phone, a drive without a podcast, a pause before answering a request, or a few unscheduled minutes that you choose not to fill. The goal isn't to clear your entire calendar. It is to create one opening where you can hear yourself again.
Why do I feel guilty taking time for myself?
Guilt can surface when you're used to measuring your time by how useful you are to other people. Giving yourself space may feel unfamiliar at first, especially if you're usually the person responding, helping, or keeping everything moving. Feeling uncomfortable doesn't automatically mean you're doing something wrong. It may mean you're practicing a different way of including yourself in your own life.
Can Reiki help me create space and reconnect with myself?
Reiki can offer a structured, supported time to pause without needing to solve a problem or produce an answer. You can rest, receive, and notice what becomes easier to hear when you aren't responsible for directing the experience. Reiki doesn't make decisions for you, but it can create room for reconnection.
What do I do when I finally hear what I want?
You don't have to change everything at once. Begin by acknowledging what you heard, then choose one small way to honor it. That might be asking for time, setting a boundary, having a conversation, requesting support, or taking one step toward what matters to you. Each time you listen and respond, you strengthen trust in your own voice.
If you've been craving a supported space to pause and reconnect with yourself, I offer Reiki sessions both in person and virtually. If you're beginning to hear that something in your life needs to change and want support exploring what comes next, my 1:1 coaching includes Reiki as part of that deeper work.