The Commitments We Break with Ourselves
We pride ourselves on keeping promises. To our boss. To our kids. To our friends. Yet the promises we make to ourselves are often the first to go.
Skip the workout. Stay up late. Push past the fatigue. We tell ourselves it doesn’t matter, but it does. Every time we break our own word, we chip away at the foundation of trust we stand on.
Here’s the truth... burnout isn’t only about too much work, it’s about self-abandonment. When you consistently put yourself last, your body and spirit eventually call you out. And when you stop trusting yourself, it becomes harder to trust your choices, your vision, your voice.
Self-trust isn’t built in grand gestures. It’s built in the quiet, daily moments that no one else sees. The morning walk. The early bedtime. The journal page. Each time you follow through, you strengthen the signal that says, “I matter too.”
Why self-trust matters
Without self-trust, clarity is cloudy. You second-guess decisions, you outsource your worth, you hesitate on what you already know. With self-trust, your energy shifts. You stop spinning, you start moving in alignment, and you create momentum that feels sustainable.
A simple framework to rebuild self-trust
- Awareness. Notice the promises you’ve been breaking. Write them down. No judgment, just honesty.
- Alignment. Choose one commitment that actually matters to your body and soul—not one you think you “should” do.
- Action. Keep it small, keep it doable. Honor that commitment for seven days. Notice how your confidence shifts.
Self-trust grows the way nature does... steadily, quietly, layer by layer. And every small promise you keep to yourself becomes proof that you can count on you.
If you’re ready to begin
You don’t need a massive overhaul. You need one honest promise you’re actually willing to keep. And if you want a gentle guide to help you start creating space for clarity and self-trust, I made something for you.
Download Coming Home to You — for free. Your first step toward honoring yourself the way you honor everyone else.
If this landed for you, know this: you don’t have to figure it all out alone. That’s where my work comes in.
✨ The Soul Reset — build rhythms of self-trust and gentleness.
✨ Clarity Within — deeper support in community.
✨ 1:1 Coaching — personal guidance to stop abandoning yourself for good.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why do we break promises to ourselves more easily than to others?
Answer: We often keep promises to others out of accountability, but dismiss the ones we make to ourselves because no one else is watching.
This quiet pattern chips away at self-trust. When you tell yourself a workout, bedtime, or break doesn’t matter, you train your brain to believe your needs are optional. Over time, that erodes confidence and creates burnout—not just from overwork, but from self-abandonment.
What does self-trust actually mean?
Answer: Self-trust is the confidence that you’ll follow through on what matters to you, even when no one else is holding you accountable.
It’s not about perfection or willpower, it’s about consistency in the small, unseen choices. When you keep simple promises like resting when tired or journaling when you said you would, you strengthen your internal trust signal. That inner trust creates clarity and momentum in your life and work.
How do I rebuild self-trust after breaking it?
Answer: Self-trust rebuilds through small, consistent actions that prove to yourself you’re reliable.
The framework is simple: awareness (notice where you’ve been breaking promises), alignment (choose one that truly matters, not one you “should” do), and action (keep it doable and honor it for seven days). Each success becomes new proof that you can trust yourself again.
What does breaking promises to yourself do to your mental health?
Answer: Breaking your own commitments leads to self-doubt, second-guessing, and a cycle of hesitation.
When you consistently put yourself last, you unconsciously tell your mind and body that you can’t rely on yourself. This erodes clarity, creates decision fatigue, and fuels burnout. The antidote is honoring even the smallest self-commitments, which restores confidence and steadiness.
How can keeping small commitments prevent burnout?
Answer: Small commitments create sustainable energy by proving you matter as much as your responsibilities.
Burnout isn’t just overwork, it’s the accumulation of self-abandonment. When you honor daily practices like rest, movement, or reflection, you recharge at the root. This quiet consistency restores balance and prevents the spiral of exhaustion that comes from constantly overriding your needs.
What’s one promise I can start with today to build self-trust?
Answer: Start with one small, meaningful promise, like going to bed on time or taking a 10-minute walk, and keep it for a week.
The key is to pick something that genuinely matters to you, not something you think you “should” do. By honoring one clear commitment, you give yourself evidence of reliability. This builds momentum far faster than trying to overhaul everything at once.